you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
