return my video game
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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