dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
