But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
