i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
