Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
