Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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