i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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