dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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