We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
