grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
