I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
