U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize