I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
