id be glad to
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
