Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
