if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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