so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
