Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
