I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
