Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
