Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize