Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
