He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
