fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
