Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
