Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
