The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
