he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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