Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will be naked everywhere
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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