I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
