I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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