can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
