Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
