I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
