she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
