He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
