don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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