This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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