Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
