this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
there is puke in my bra ... again
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