i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
