she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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