Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
