This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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