Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
