don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
