O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
