But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
