I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
