Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
