so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
