you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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