Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
