once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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