i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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