omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
