They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
