Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
