It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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